But I am feeling the need to today. Actually have for a while but every time I find the time, I have been too tired to be honest. My topic today is being grateful. Why? Because it is a daily challenge for me and one I wish to get better at.
I was nursing my son last night getting ready to put him down for the night and I got some tragic news concerning an old friend. But I will get back to that.
I was consumed with my problems, I was tired, I still had a mountain of laundry to do, my bathroom sink is still broken and we cannot afford to fix it, I cannot seem to keep my house clean for more that 1/2 an hour before some sort of chaos breaks out again, I had been up since 7am going strong all day with no breaks, cooking, cleaning, kissing owies, scolding bad behaviour, calming tantrums, teaching numbers & colours and trying to get some work done. I was feeling down, unappreciated. I have Osteitis Pubis, which when I walk too much can make my entire back and legs throb and/or ache with stabbing pain. I still had to get back up and do the supper dishes, put laundry down stairs for tomorrow, sweep up the kids mess now that they are sleeping, make sure my husbands lunch was made and my step daughter had her homework done and teeth brushed before bed. I still had some work I needed to do for clients... and in the end if I was lucky to have energy left I really needed a shower. Being a stay at home mom has long long hours and if you are working too it can make for an interesting challenge.
So there I was consumed with these negative thoughts and I heard my phone buzz (I had it on silent so it wouldn't wake my son) and I read the email and everything I was thinking left just like that. Poof .... I had no problems any more. Tears came to my eyes and I couldn't help but shed some. My heart was breaking for my friend. I fight tears now as I write this. I have so much to be grateful for! So so much!
My friends son had just died on that Monday at the age of 22! I cannot express how much my heart hurt for her. There I was being so consumed with my problems I forgot to be grateful for what I had.
So there I was nursing my young son who was cuddled close to me. I still have my son. I am very lucky! (at this point I felt pretty ashamed of my silly not productive, negative thoughts) My 3 year old daughter was sleeping peacefully in her bed. Once again extremely blessed!
I am lucky enough to have laundry to do when some don't even have a home to clean! My back hurts and my legs hurt but I can still feel them, use them. I am truly blessed! I have food to cook for my family, we can still afford fresh healthy food so I make meals from scratch which creates a lot of dishes sometimes. I so unbelievably lucky! Yes sometimes I feel like I have had no sleep but I get to wake up every morning to my wonderful children and their smiling faces. I am grateful.
My bathroom sink might be broken but I have one, and running water. I am blessed. My days are long and weeks are busy but it means I have a purpose and I am accomplishing things. I am very grateful. My house is almost always a little messy but it's because my kids are exploring, experimenting and being creative. I am blessed.
Yes sometimes I feel my husband doesn't acknowledge how much work I do or the effort I put in, or how I try to put the family first. But I am blessed, for when he can he helps me which is his way of saying thank you. He will do the dishes if I am too tired, or he will take the kids outside so I can mop the floor. And he is the best father my kids could ever ask for. I am truly grateful.
My love goes out to my friend and I cannot fully understand what she is going through as I have never had such a life changing experience happen to me yet. I have had my problems but nothing that compares.
And please just remember, Be Grateful for what you have, for there is always someone with less, sometimes a lot less.
Remember the cup is half full after all...
